A couple of years ago I read an article that pretended to be advocating human rights, while in fact it was a story of moral cowardice passed off as courage.

The story was simple: a man who taught at a Catholic school came out as transgender.  He did not resign, but rather waited to be fired and then promptly sued the Catholic school.

You might ask, why if I spend so much time writing about liberal values do I condemn rather than support this man and his cause.   The answer is simple, this man, and CNN, have confused self-serving narcissism for moral courage, and that offends me.

Moral courage is the willingness to stand for right, without personal benefit but at a personal cost (think Gandhi). The case was not about being transgendered; it was about selfishness and self-absorption.   This man taught at this school for decades, so he knew full well what the beliefs of the Catholic Church are in matters of sexuality. It is not a secret.  He had been in the employ of a Catholic school and in his employment agreement, there were religious and moral expectations, as there were for all employees. There was no possible way he wasn’t informed of those expectations year after year. 

The moral thing to do in a case such as this is; when one cannot in good conscience continue to support the religious organization for which one works, one resigns. Period!  It is a moral failure to try to undermine the organization that has entrusted you with a leadership position (and yes teaching is a leadership position). In this case, to try to punish the Catholic School via the courts because he has changed and they have not is entirely self-serving.

I do not say this as one who has never walked in those shoes. For I have. I was the high school principal of a large conservative Christian school.   I actually did have authority to bend the school to the direction I thought best.  I exerted my legitimate authority and did a great deal of good. But in the end, I walked away from a successful career when I no longer could support the core beliefs of my employers, even in things that were far removed from my professional work.  So I have walked exactly in his shoes.

There was a day, it was in May of 1998, I was already wrapping up my tenure at the school due to “differences in philosophy”. The school’s Headmaster, called me to the office and demanded I reveal the names of all students who were, to my knowledge sexually, active. He knew I knew names, because I did most of the school counseling as part of my job.  I had nothing to gain for myself to refuse his demand; but, by refusing I had a great deal to lose. I knew full well that this man would be the primary contact for any potential employer.  I had done a lot of counseling with my teenage students over the years, and knew a great deal about the sexual (and other) activities of my students.  It was explained that the board believed that knowledge was “corporate knowledge” and I was obligated to give it up.  I told him I would not. Under his attempted coercion, I adamantly and loudly refused disclose that information.

In the end, I realized that since my wife and I had moved away from their warped view of Christianity for good, I could never again, in good conscience work anywhere in the field of conservative evangelical ministries; however, never once did I feel oppressed. The conservative evangelical Christian community had not changed, I had.  I was then, and now am, fully convinced that their vision of Christianity has no basis in the words of Jesus; however, that is irrelevant. That is who they are. If I wanted to start my own ministry or Christian school, I had that right. But I had no just reason to expect them to change for me.  Such an expectation to change at my demand is morally bereft, in that it puts me in the role of the one attempting to oppress others by forcing my beliefs upon them.

There is no question that conservative Christians have long sought to make all people, regardless of their personal beliefs, live by their interpretation of Christianly.  And there is no question that LGBT people have been oppressed and persecuted by conservative Christians for over a thousand years.   However, that does not mean that the LGBT activist, who seek to force religious conservatives to abide by their vision of morality, become the would-be oppressors.  As your mother told you, two wrongs don’t make a right.  To try to make others accept your vision of sexual morality is the very definition of oppression.

Therefore, while I fully support the civil rights of this transgendered person in public society, I adamantly oppose the effort to punish the Catholic school (or other conservative Christians) for their beliefs and/or force them to employ this person in violation of their beliefs.

Next time you see a story about  how “haters” who believe homosexuality or denying one’s birth gender should be silenced and pushed from the public arena; remember to ask, who is the one attempting to oppress whom.